He was ready, we were not.

Kirby. Cubby. The Cubs. The Kirbster. Big Bidness. Big Guy. Big Twubbles. My Boy.

When the time had come for his very last car ride, he let me pick him up and carry him out to the car without even the slightest whimper (those with Bassetts know this isn’t normal) and he walked casually into the veterinarian’s office, even waiting patiently for me to hold the door for him. While we waited for a room, I silently wished he would become completely incapacitated or start barking at the other dogs, showing some life. Instead, he sat calmly between Amy’s legs, occasionally looking at us with the eyes that won us over a little over 3 years ago.

A million thoughts raced through my head, memories of the good times we had and my thoughts on death and what happens in the end. Our only goal was to end his pain which he was clearly in. While he was walking on his own, he hadn’t had a bite to eat or even a sip of water (Kirby had a serious drinking problem) and he hadn’t just been himself in weeks. I spent the majority of this week lying on the floor with him (still doing my conference calls at work) and he had finally let me look into his eyes for long periods of time. I saw sweetness and pain, pain he didn’t deserve.

Amy and I stayed with him while Dr. Sunderman injected h a powerful sedative followed by an overdose of a narcotic. He calmly fell asleep on his side next to Amy and I on the floor. His heart stopped about 30 seconds after the narcotic was administered. No movement whatsoever. And then he was gone.

We would have done anything to make him better- any amount of money, any amount of time. He was our child. His quality of life was the most important thing however and Amy and I could not fathom dozens of trips to the vet, surgeries, medicines and immobility. The cancer was too aggressive and we were out of time. He deserved better. We rescued him from an abusive family and someone who abandoned him. Though maybe he rescued us. He gave us better days. He deserved to be free of this pain. And now he is.

Thank you so much for finding us, big guy.

Wherever it is we we pass from this physical life, I hope to see this again

Our male Bassett Hound Kirby, has a mass on his left shoulder/neck that makes it extremely painful for him to walk, especially stairs. I built him this ramp to make it easier to go outside. Grace makes a special guest appearance.

In this video, he’s on 3 different kinds of pain medicationss (he couldn’t even walk the previous two days) but it’s nice to see him be able to go outside on his own.

Amy is now almost 7 months along but we still haven’t named our little girl. In the early stages of pregnancy, Amy was reading a book that said the fetus was the “size of a blueberry” and of course I adopted that as her nickname. Everyday I asked “how is the Blueberry doing?” Today, I finally got to see her face. It was pretty humbling. I’m still at a loss for words so until they come to me, here is the video of the 3D ultrasound we got this afternoon:

(it’s pretty long and there’s no sound but pretty cool).

A higher definition .avi file HERE

Pictures to follow shortly.

I’ve always been fascinated by Black Holes, not because of the movie (though as a kid that was cool and I love the soundtrack) but because of the thought experiments that happen in my head when I think of them. Information loss, relative time, etc. If you have any interest at all in Black Holes, I highly recommend you check out Leonard Susskind’s book, The Black Hole War. It’s a pretty dumb title but a fascinating read, even if you’re not a theoretical physicist.

Anyway, since I read that book, I’ve done lots of calculations using the Schwarzschild Radius (Rs = 2GM/c2) to determine the size you would have to compress some matter (like the Earth or Sun) to create a gravitational constant (aka a black hole). So I found this cool video on YouTube and REALLY liked the video at towards the end when he describes the evidence of a black hole at the center of The Milky Way. Awesome stuff, I’ve read about it but had never seen those images.

Very, very rarely does a video enhance a song. Death Cab for Cutie’s video forThe Grapevine Fires nails it.

Great song made better by a great video.