Rain City Story

Self Disappointment

I'm not a worrier. I don't have insomnia caused by anxiety and I don't spend my days thinking about things that could go wrong. So why am I struggling with the task my team has to complete this Saturday? Yes, It is the most complex thing this company has ever done since going into business but I've created a solid plan and have the best team I could ask for.

Maybe it's because we have no viable backup or backout option. Or maybe it's because I'm relying on a 3rd party (though properly vetted and extremely qualified) vendor to physically move the equipment. I can't control nor ever worked with them. Or maybe it's because I'm 0-5 in major project executions. Regardless of the reason, I'm still surprised that I'm not sleeping and have 24x7 butterflies. I wake up constantly during the night wondering if I've forgotten anything or if there might be a better way to do x task. I know that worrying and planning things to death not only don't help but probably hurt and this activity is self defeating. Worrying about things is pretty stupid and I can't stand to be around people who do.

This is probably a stupid rant caused by 6 hours of sleep in 5 days.

I lnow it will go fine and that's why I'm so pissed at myself...